Dude, my freshman year of college was a brutal time for chasing tail.
We rolled in a deep crew, a tight knit baseball bunch. But, it had it's drawbacks. Three of the guys were all world cockblockers.
So we had Jon who was a dumpster diver...he'd fuck anything: giraffe, elliptical, couch cushion, mastadon fossils, hideous bitches...yep, you know that guy. But hey, we all need a slump buster...and if you were stuck in a rut and needed to nut, well, you could count on Jon to steal your midnite special trophy/morning nightmare away from you!
JJ Smooth was fuckin questionable outright. Nice kid, but odd. Looked like a backstreet boy...muscles, tan, hair, cute bicep tattoo...yeah, he was alright with the lasses, too. He had a patented maneuver...he ,would hide in the shadows at a party stalking his next cockblock. He would look for his friends, too...dancing with girls. Once eye contact was established, it was over. He would get all happy, then do like this backstreet boy type dance where he'd come over, then do like simulated running fist pumps in slow mo while he approached. He'd then be all happy and say what's up, then immediately, he'd hook the girl with his arm and box you out. He had a mean hook, like a vaudeville act. That dame could be dancing on the stage ready to exit to your bedroom...and woooop...the hook pulled her away! And you were fucked...you spent all that time making the broad's panties all lathered up and then out of the nite, a gorgeous metrosexual appears to make a move on her.
Then, there was Winston. Winston was the worst, b/c this dude was bald as fuck. At 23, he had 4 hairs in the front. He had some queero "volumizing product" that he would use. He'd spend 10 minutes in the bathroom before we'd bounce, perfectly lining up those 4 hairs. His special move to pry women away from you was the, "Heyyyyy...I know yoooouuu...we had ________ class together. No, we didn't...thaaaaat's so weird, I thought we did." You could be tonguing a girl and Winston would apply his special move.
Cockblockers suck a dick...I don't even want to think how many opportunities I lost out on b/c of these characters...it was great, though.
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