A Rant about Pollocks

I'm not here to make Polish jokes. I'm not racist. I'm just here to tell you that if you're Polish, you need to try a little bit harder then the next person to be humane. It's just the way it is. Work on the simple things; start small. Practice good habits like saying 'thank you'. Be appreciative and humble. Don't speak your mind so often. Don't be so forthcoming with your wants and desires. Realize that the world does not revolve around you. People in this world other then you do hold importance. Learn to smile and laugh. Give a meaninful hug or even handshake. You heard me.

Honestly, I've never understood the stigma towards Italians, Jews, and a horde of other ethnic peoples. However, I have seen over and over firsthand why the Polish have the reputation that they do. In fact, their reputation is far short of where it should be. These people far surpass their stereotype each and every day. I challenge you to meet a swell pollock. Can't happen, won't happen, and even if it does it still didn't really happen.

My first experience with Pollocks came when my uncle married one. Delesk was her maiden name. Full blooded variety of Pole. She's grown on me a lot over the years; but my God did her family and her show my family how cold blooded 'family' could be. They have absolutely no sensitivity towards anyone or anything other then themselves. Selfish doesn't even begin to put it in perspective. They're an ignorant and inconsiderate group of greed mongers and have grown colder and colder with each passing day that they've been part of our family. When my grandmother died unexpectedly, they sent flowers to the funeral home. They didn't show up for the viewing. Then they get upset and will not speak to my family because no thank you note was sent during the grieving process for the flowers! Note to these ignorant bastards: it's not normal procedure.

Aside from my Uncle being required to attend every holiday at the Delesk household and never at the big Italian gatherings at my mother's side of the family; my Pollock aunt by marriage feels that the world revolves around her and her bunch. I learned long ago that they're better then us. Rumor crept out that her family would no longer attend gatherings with our family because 'we are too loud for them'. Now that group of FBI's when they get together are a rowdy bunch, but they're loving and kind people. They listen to you. They scream at eachother but they don't mean it. Fights are followed by hugs. It's a real family thing. But my aunt Lisa, she never says five words at gatherings. Why doesn't she do this? Because reportedly "we scared her". Sorry, the Polish must not disagree with each other. My uncle after a decade of marriage was permitted to bring his wife and kids to our families loud ass holiday gathers on Christmas eve, the day before Easter, the Friday after Thanksgiving and made a handful of birthdays. Thanks for that.

Enough about my Pollock aunt. Whenever her family did questionable things that left you scratching your head after countless acts of warm and kindness; we began to have the same saying after they'd do it. It was best summed up with "well they're Pollocks!" and we left it at that. Damn right I'm bitter about it. If you're Polish I'm sure you guys practice some of these same habits, you cold-hearted sons of bitches!

Another example. I met this gal in college. Pretty girl. But there was a problem. She was totally fucking polish. Like, you couldn't get around it. I soon realized after a few weeks of seeing her that no matter what I did, she was never going to be able to overcome her heritage and be a normal and rational person. She supposively really liked me. But she had a funny way of showing it. I mean this was the most inconsiderate girl I'd ever dated. And by a long shot. You could give her the world and all you'd hear from her if anything was that her daddy did this or that better for her. You dad had a horse farm? Her dad had prettier ponies on his. You found gold walking on the beach? She found diamonds one time. You buy her tickets to a country concert she's been wanting to go to; she does not say thank you. It wasn't that she was a bitch, as I thought in my younger days when I was not as wise in the ways of the woman. She was just polish, man. Things wrapped up with her after she told me she thought it was cool to say goodbyes without actually saying anything. They really are an uncouth group of people folks.

I wish that some genetics scientist could do a long and winded case study on Pollocks and find out what it is in their bloodline that makes them so God damned socially retarded. They are a good for nothing, stingy group of humans. They have no concept of being personable or kind.

If there's a hell, there's a special place reserved for every most Pollocks.