So I'm spamming people with my band's facebook account and one old guy responds to a message with "add?"....like, wtf....if you don't want to be spammed, hit ignore friend request....
Old people just take facebook way to fuckin seriously....
Wednesday, June 30, 2010
Jew Garbage
Here's a good one...ever notice that local gov't workers treat us like shit....cops, teachers, garbagemen, mailmen.....all of 'em....they treat us like dog shit.
My roomie inadvertently parked her car too close to our mailbox a few months ago and the mailman wanted to like mudwrestle/cage fight her to the death or some shit.
In Cbus, we live under a similar totalitarian regime involving the garbagemen. Ok, so you get one trashcan per household....and whatever doesn't fit, well you're shit out of luck. You can arrange for bulk pickup...but who the fuck has the time to arrange such a ridiculous thing.....we did it when we last moved...fuck, the whole process took like 3 days to arrange.
In a household with three adults, 5 kitties, and 2 german shepherds, it's hard to keep things to one trash can....we try, but kitties don't stop shitting and I don't stop cooking. Also, we have to keep buying things we have never had before (like a dehumdifier, power tools, etc). These things come in bulky packaging that needs thrown away.
Our trash day changes (does anyone else deal with this?). Let me repeat myself....the fuckin trash day changes all the time. As a child, trash day was consistent...it was one of my chores to take trash out and take the empty cans back in every single mutha fuckin Monday. It was like clockwork...who cares about holidays? The fuckin trashmen are getting paid $20 an hr....well, here in Cbus, the trash date changes all the time...you have to go to a website to keep track! It's so fuckin annoying! I mean, fuck...mragh mragh mragh mragh!
http://refuse.ci.columbus.oh.us/monthly_color_calendar.htm
So bc I forgot, last week, I did not take the trash out....fuck....I have a mountain of trash, which brings us to the concept of "Jew trash." My wife is Jewish, so it's ok...she coined this phrase. Basically, when I have extra trash (and this time, I have a shit ton) I have to sneak around and dump extra trash into my neighbors' less full bins. I'm lucky. This week, the hillbillies down the street have been evicted, so they have arranged for a bulk pickup....tonite around midnite, I'll be placing my extra trash amongst their diminuitive landfill in their front lawn.
My roomie inadvertently parked her car too close to our mailbox a few months ago and the mailman wanted to like mudwrestle/cage fight her to the death or some shit.
In Cbus, we live under a similar totalitarian regime involving the garbagemen. Ok, so you get one trashcan per household....and whatever doesn't fit, well you're shit out of luck. You can arrange for bulk pickup...but who the fuck has the time to arrange such a ridiculous thing.....we did it when we last moved...fuck, the whole process took like 3 days to arrange.
In a household with three adults, 5 kitties, and 2 german shepherds, it's hard to keep things to one trash can....we try, but kitties don't stop shitting and I don't stop cooking. Also, we have to keep buying things we have never had before (like a dehumdifier, power tools, etc). These things come in bulky packaging that needs thrown away.
Our trash day changes (does anyone else deal with this?). Let me repeat myself....the fuckin trash day changes all the time. As a child, trash day was consistent...it was one of my chores to take trash out and take the empty cans back in every single mutha fuckin Monday. It was like clockwork...who cares about holidays? The fuckin trashmen are getting paid $20 an hr....well, here in Cbus, the trash date changes all the time...you have to go to a website to keep track! It's so fuckin annoying! I mean, fuck...mragh mragh mragh mragh!
http://refuse.ci.columbus.oh.us/monthly_color_calendar.htm
So bc I forgot, last week, I did not take the trash out....fuck....I have a mountain of trash, which brings us to the concept of "Jew trash." My wife is Jewish, so it's ok...she coined this phrase. Basically, when I have extra trash (and this time, I have a shit ton) I have to sneak around and dump extra trash into my neighbors' less full bins. I'm lucky. This week, the hillbillies down the street have been evicted, so they have arranged for a bulk pickup....tonite around midnite, I'll be placing my extra trash amongst their diminuitive landfill in their front lawn.
Monday, June 28, 2010
My former landlord rant....
God, this guys sucked ass...had no brains....was ignorant as fuck....place was such a dump...after a weekend of fixing my deck and doing yard work, I reflect upon the joy of home ownership vs. living as a peasant.....
I don't know where to begin with this guy, but he's about as poor a landlord as one can be. He allowed our septic tank to overflow into our yard, toilets, and basement for 6 months and then had the balls to tell us when we moved out that the house still had "pet odor" and we would need to pay to have the house cleaned....even though the house still has raw sewage muck caking the basement wall and floors.
If that story isn't enough to not make you vomit/not rent from this clown, I have a million others....here are just a couple from our 1 yr spent living as his serf... Slumlords like him belong on campus or Mogadishu for that matter, not on the northside. He never fixed any problems in a timely fashion and when it was finally "fixed" it was a half assed job. He poured gravel over the basement window wells bc the windows were all broken, He refused to fix a broken toilet or replace a toilet that was ruined by sewage backup....the solution was to just hold the flush lever. Bc he's so goddamned broke, he lives next door to this dump in a loft above his garage and annexed part of the yard for himself. He lets his 3 beagles out to bark at 2am just about every nite. He never fixed 3 broken windows in the house, btw it isnt 1912...single pane windows are out. . He will text/email you at 6 am the first of the month to harass and collect rent. Above all, you have to show the place on short notice while you are still living there/moving out. He lets you paint any color, then tells you you have to paint it back and makes an addendum to the lease the day after you do it...remember, this is just a yr of living at this dump....
Unprofessional, uncouth, and just plain ignorant...not a bad guy, I think he has no malicious intent, I think he's completely oblivious to how people need to behave in a society.
I don't know where to begin with this guy, but he's about as poor a landlord as one can be. He allowed our septic tank to overflow into our yard, toilets, and basement for 6 months and then had the balls to tell us when we moved out that the house still had "pet odor" and we would need to pay to have the house cleaned....even though the house still has raw sewage muck caking the basement wall and floors.
If that story isn't enough to not make you vomit/not rent from this clown, I have a million others....here are just a couple from our 1 yr spent living as his serf... Slumlords like him belong on campus or Mogadishu for that matter, not on the northside. He never fixed any problems in a timely fashion and when it was finally "fixed" it was a half assed job. He poured gravel over the basement window wells bc the windows were all broken, He refused to fix a broken toilet or replace a toilet that was ruined by sewage backup....the solution was to just hold the flush lever. Bc he's so goddamned broke, he lives next door to this dump in a loft above his garage and annexed part of the yard for himself. He lets his 3 beagles out to bark at 2am just about every nite. He never fixed 3 broken windows in the house, btw it isnt 1912...single pane windows are out. . He will text/email you at 6 am the first of the month to harass and collect rent. Above all, you have to show the place on short notice while you are still living there/moving out. He lets you paint any color, then tells you you have to paint it back and makes an addendum to the lease the day after you do it...remember, this is just a yr of living at this dump....
Unprofessional, uncouth, and just plain ignorant...not a bad guy, I think he has no malicious intent, I think he's completely oblivious to how people need to behave in a society.
If my Pop had facebook...
I like how FB reminds me that my anniversary is Sunday....my Pop forgot his anniversary so many times, it isn't funny...if he had FB, maybe he'd still be married...hmmmm
I chose the 4th of July so I could never forget....well, as long as I have FB, I guess my reasoning was dumb....
I chose the 4th of July so I could never forget....well, as long as I have FB, I guess my reasoning was dumb....
Rhapsody, the puppy
Rhapsody is pretty annoying if you've met her....she's mostly German Shepherd with some Akita sploched in. Well, Rhapsody and Quorra have been relegated to full time outdoor dogs. Quorra behaves, however, Rhapsody just shits too much to ever be inside.
Rhapsody isn't sick and she has a normal digestive system....she just..well, she just eats everything....rabbits, birds, trees, tree bark, leaves, grass, grass seed, pieces of the deck, etc......so when eating everything all the time, you get sick all the time. Rhapsody shits violent projectile liquid all of the time.
I have awoken to her shitting in my house twice. One time, I witnessed the shitting in real time....she was walking on my new carpet and started freaking out, sniffing her butt and whining as this mudd niagara spew splattered onto my floor. I couldn't be mad at her...her face was like...wtf, I have no control over this involuntary sludge bowel.
She is starting to learn to listen a bit better....however, she loves to drag her ass across my deck....and it leaves a brown chalk mark......I have seen her take breaks from eating to slide her ass...then she returns to eating....it's really annoying, but I get the point...I need to restain and treat my deck....
I mean, don't get me wrong...puppies and kittens are cute...but fuck, they do annoying, destructive shit! When Foofen was 4 wks-6months, she would shit in the house....but she wanted to hide it from us, so she would crawl undeneath our 300 lb hutch and shit there. The crevice that she would slide through was so narrow, that the only way to clean the dumps was if the entire hutch was moved, which sucked major balls.
Rhapsody isn't sick and she has a normal digestive system....she just..well, she just eats everything....rabbits, birds, trees, tree bark, leaves, grass, grass seed, pieces of the deck, etc......so when eating everything all the time, you get sick all the time. Rhapsody shits violent projectile liquid all of the time.
I have awoken to her shitting in my house twice. One time, I witnessed the shitting in real time....she was walking on my new carpet and started freaking out, sniffing her butt and whining as this mudd niagara spew splattered onto my floor. I couldn't be mad at her...her face was like...wtf, I have no control over this involuntary sludge bowel.
She is starting to learn to listen a bit better....however, she loves to drag her ass across my deck....and it leaves a brown chalk mark......I have seen her take breaks from eating to slide her ass...then she returns to eating....it's really annoying, but I get the point...I need to restain and treat my deck....
I mean, don't get me wrong...puppies and kittens are cute...but fuck, they do annoying, destructive shit! When Foofen was 4 wks-6months, she would shit in the house....but she wanted to hide it from us, so she would crawl undeneath our 300 lb hutch and shit there. The crevice that she would slide through was so narrow, that the only way to clean the dumps was if the entire hutch was moved, which sucked major balls.
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