So, the main purpose of my “vacation” last weekend was to sure up wedding plans. The final roster of groomsmen was submitted officially. Dealings concerning the meals and very open bar were also addressed. And of course, the tuxedo was decided upon (although, it nearly ended in bloodshed).
So, my dearest fiancée has been doing her best not to become bridezilla, but alas, tis in her nature to become…shall we say, “aggressive.” She had this grand vision of “linen” type tuxedos for the wedding, which I agree, sounded pretty good.
However, such things are hard to come by and you certainly don’t want to get me in a pure linen outfit. I would destroy it and it wrinkles so easily, I’d look like a dirty sheet at the bottom of the hamper. So, we decided on the “linen look.”
Well, she had me try on a multitude of tuxes and suits. We made some enemies at a few of the stores, especially at a Men’s Wearhouse where when the African-American salesman asked us which colors we were interested in, my dearest said, “we’re anti-black……..and, uh…anti-navy.” I just hope this guy wasn’t a navy discharge, too.
She was convinced that she wanted me in this hideous brownish color. I gazed upon it and using my useless history major, immediately flashed to images of pre-WWII Nazi SA uniforms. Yes, it was that bad. Then her mother suggested a “postman” outfit…and yet, another outfit which looked like I should be marching for General Lee in a Civil War reenactment.
As hideous as these outfits were and as great a battle that I waged with my fiancée, we came to a conclusion. Ivory Tux, white undershirt, purple vest and tie. Don’t worry groomsmen, you guys are getting green vests and ties. Some may think the outfit hideous, however, it is festive and I love purple…it is the color of royalty. If you weren’t a buck-toothed drunk slob, you would know that.
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