Do you play bass???

Do you play bass? My band needs a bassist. Here's the ad we posted recently online:

Going to the well...again.

Panzer's lineup is almost complete! Our current lineup consists of lead vocals, a drummer, a rhythm guitar, and lead guitar/bass. Our lead guitarist (also plays bass) has only limited availability at the moment and we feel it might be a good idea to expand our search to audition lead guitarists, as well as bassists just to see what's out there...that's enough proof that we are laid back, I think.

We play for fun, but we are committed to our music! Ideally, we want an active contributor with some talent and decent enough gear to practice with. We would prefer a friendly, loyal, responsible young adult with couth who has a life, a job/career, and is willing to practice at the very minimum, once a week...twice would be great! (We are all understanding...life comes first) We aren’t going to put an age restriction, but we are in our young to mid 20s and would prefer to collaborate with someone near our own age.

Not interested in spoiled 25 year old drug addict buffoons from Dublin who are unemployed, live with their parents, throw up on your floor, and will never ever return a call/email/show up for practice. We are currently writing and have 5 original songs in the works…they sound great, but we really could use the input of a bassist. Recordings aren't available at this moment...we're working on it!

We have a few humble goals: Practice once a week, fine tune our original songs (enough to play a set), record in a studio, and play some shows locally….then, who knows?

Influences: Alice in Chains, A Perfect Circle, Audioslave, Breaking Benjamin, Chevelle, Deftones, Led Zeppelin, Nirvana, Our Lady Peace, Pink Floyd, Soundgarden, STP, Taproot, Tool, and many more…basically modern rock/post grunge…artistic yet not too bizarre and not too far out from the mainstream.
Email us for an audition at panzer.music@gmail.com. We’d love to hear what you have to offer and meet some new people!

Ok...so nice, normal ad. I italicized and bolded a specific portion of the long ad. Did you catch it...we are all young and don't want to work with old dudes.

So, interesting enough, I'm at Guitar Center the other day crushing on some new gear when I get a call. Yes, it was a guy I had been bouncing emails with...Mike, the bassist.

Mike was hillbily as fuck, obviously lonely, and intoxicated/high. In a 35 minute phone call, he gave me his life story. He's fucking 47 years old...yes, old enough to be my father...and lonely enough that he wants to come play with us.

Some people don't understand subtlety. I explained to him multiple times that we were all younger guys...well, I dunno how many Strohs deep he was, but he was pretty fucked up. It was like 9 pm.

So, I gotta eventually email this guy back to tell him, no...no you aren't coming to jam with us next Friday. Am I a douche for denying someone b/c of their age? I feel awful about it, but the bottom line is, if I wanted to play music with my Dad, I would. We're going to go into this thing having nothing in common musically anyways, let alone anything else! The guy really is this lonely and wants to play out really bad...well, I've played with geezers before, so maybe I'll refer him.