On moving...

I'm moving into a house this weekend. It may not be a big deal to some of you. Some of you have had the option to live in a house in the ghetto or your parents are paying your lease, etc. This is my first house on my own. It's a rent to own situation and it's taken me my whole life to get my first house, so BUTT OUT!

Some of you are helping and getting catered Italian food and free beer. Some of you are assholes and won't help. Some of you I never bothered to ask, bc, well some of you are out of town (and I'm not paying for your ticket to fuckin help me)and some of you are as reliable as a truthful Roger Clemens congressional testimony.

Well, when you move, you obviously gotta clean out your old joint. One of the more bizarre things I have to clean are my one cat, Bebe's gigantic snots.

If you know me or have been a reader, Bebe is our special-ed kitty who has allergies that cause her entire sinus cavity to fill up, solidify, and then she ejects the contents like a volcanic bomb in a vile and wretched sneezing fit...usually ending up on my wall...or leg...or hand.

When Bebe has a sneezing fit, I grab the nearest blanket and cover up. I learned the hard way when one of these fuckers nearly took out my leg like that canon ball did to that sorry mother fucker in the Patriot.

I have included documentation of these massive boogers juxtaposed with a measuring tape. It is shocking.

Might as well plug it...how am I to go about cleaning these gigantic booger pies? Well, we got these nice little "Mr. Clean Magic Erasures." The product really is magical...a little moisture and some elbow grease...the wall is booger free!!! I need to mention that some of these boogers have been on the walls for months!