A MUTHA FUCKIN SHAMWOW!!!!!!!!???????

When you're a man who works hard for his money, nothing...NOTHING will piss you off more than a wasteful purchase. Sure enough, my fiancee showed up with a Shamwow set the other day.

I flipped my shit...I thought I was gonna have a coronary. I called her every name in the book, used my typical, "uhhh...you're gonna be the dumbest fuckin doctor ever...uhhh...all booksmarts, no street sense, uhhhhh!"

In less than 12 hours, I had already used the Shamwow 4 times.

First, I needed to dry some dishes. There were no hand towels in my kitchen, so...I popped open the box of Shamwows and grabbed the one...ya know...the one for "everyday use...for the kitchen..."

It did the job.

Well, I went to let Ace, the foster dog out...and I set my work bag down. When I got outside, I noticed there was a puddle where my work bag had been initially set down outside so I could retrieve my garbage bins. Well, I knew I had an unopened Diet Pepsi Max in there, and I formed the conclusion immediately that it was no longer unopened.

And there was my soda soaked work bag, sitting on my brand new couch! FHHHHHACK! I sprang into action, grabbed the nearest upholstery cleaner and a Shamwow. I cleaned the fuck outta it and set it next to my dehumidifier. Sure enough, no stain.

I was out of Swiffer pads (and they are fuckin expensive, anyways.) So, I grabbed a Shamwow, sprayed it down with some Lysol, and went to down on my linoleum.

Ace had an accident...went to the Shamwow.

All I can say, as fuckin annoying as that hooker beater is, this is a great product...and now I'm not gonna be spending $60 g a year in paper towels or whatever he says we spend.