Exposing the Early Risers...

Dude, we all know the early riser...they are such bad asses...and they let you know about it.

"Uhhh-Uhhh...I woke up at 3:12am. Uhhh...I get up so early this morning."

They fuckin go on and on about how early they got up this morning...blah blah blah...

But what 95% of them forget to tell you is that they went to bed at 7pm the nite before.

I know several of these types. My father, for one, is always up at 5am every morning. After a long ass day at work, he usually falls asleep on the couch by 8pm. How many hours of sleep is that? 9 hrs.

One of my co-workers is a corporate disciple. He's up everyday at 6 am to go workout and start his day. But, when we go on business trips, he's in bed by 9 consistently. He quietly admits to us that he's in bed very early. That's a respectable 8 hours.

My father in law works like a dog and owns his own business. He's up at 4:15 am everyday and "goes to bed at 10:30pm" everynite. He fuckin clucks about it at least 15x a day (Pop, you are YOUR own boss doing something you adore...it's a good life...try workin for the mutha fuckin man for a bit...oh, that's right, you didn't like that b/c they wanted you to cut your hair and shave). What he fails to tell you, b/c he's already asleep in his lazy boy by then, is it's 7:30 and he's fuckin out cold. Cold. He is only led to bed by his wife and tucked in around 10:30...so techincally, he can brag that he goes to bed at 10:30 everynite...do the math..that's over 9 hours of sleep!

So, what about us normal folks. What about us? We take care of our shit in the evenings....our families, pets, extra curriculars, tv, entertainment etc.. and only find the time to get to bed by midnite or later...and we have to be up by 5 or 6? What about us...yes, you early riser fucks have beaten us by an hour or so, but you've had almost double the sleep we have had! We should start bragging..."Uhhhhhhh...5 hours of sleep...uhhhhhh!" This adds up and quite frankly, it makes it difficult to get up so fuckin early with the old people. We did a great body of work, in all facets of our lives today...all while you SLEPT. So who is the lazy one?

So, early risers...try living in my world without your 8+ hours of beauty sleep. Try working 10 hours, coming home to take care of the 4 cats and dog, cook dinner, clean up, and plan the next day....all on a max of 5 hrs of sleep!

Pop..everytime I call you at 8 pm, the phone rings like five times and you answer all sleepily, clearing your throat and shit...I know you've been sleeping...look at the time! You aren't tough!

And quit bragging about how early you all get up and lying about what time you "go to bed." It's not about what time your wife drags your ass to the bedroom, it's what time you start watching the back of your eyelids and for the very vast majority of you, it's right after dinner. You early risers make a choice...you choose to neglect the extra perks in life and choose sleep over living your lives...so I offer, who is really living...who is really lazy?