Mission Statement

I have always hated the uneducated and ignorant in all forms. It's not evil to be ignorant. No one knows everything. I couldn't tell you anything about gourmet coffee, theoretical physics, or Zoology 112, but by humbling myself to the point that I am able to admit to my flaw automatically jumps me ahead of the self-absorbed ingnoramis who thinks he knows something, when he doesn't!

I guess it's all about the pursuit to be more aware...to approach things with an open mind, but with guarded common sense. I'm after the humanity here at it's simplest level. Social interactions...the everyday, the awkward, and the extreme. I want to expose the evil that lies in the heart of those who THINK they have claim. It is about the satire, the epic.

Ok, here's the shitlist

-If you can't spell, use proper grammar, etc...you should have read fuckin Green Eggs and Ham like the rest of us when we were in kindergarten.

-Bad drivers/drivers with poor manners: There are two extremes here. The psychotic drivers who will get on your ass even though you are going 10 mph over the speed limit. There's also the idiot who will go 5 mph under in the pass lane. There was a Far Side comic for you.

-Dallas Cowboy AND New York Yankee AND North Carolina basketball AND Notre Dame football fan - Yes, they are out there. Just bandwagoners who have no affiliation whatsover with the school, city, or team, but root only for winners. Be consistent!

-Fulfilling your racial stereotype- Touchy subject, here...but it must be acknowledged. Although we are all pink underneath, we are all different in so many ways. I choose to celebrate heritage, however, every heritage has a stereotype...like it or not. If you are defined by the stereotype alone, then you are the summation of all things brutal. Are you barfighter O'Malley? Are you gangsta Shadowgsy with a grille? Are you horny, pasta eating wop? Are you hand talking hindu? Are you hoarding, covetous Jew ready for law/medical school/marketing firm? Are you atrocious driving Asian? Are you landscaper Miguel? Are you tootheless, pal-mal smoking hillbilly? I think I've made my point.

-The oblivious (completely)- You have no clue. You have no clue you are in my way at the store. You have no clue how to say escargot. You don't look both ways when you cross the street. You are a disease, a chronic mistake waiting to happen.

-Obsessive work out freak- Who cares if you are buff? You bring nothing to the table but the ability to bring me my dinner. Chop, chop, garcon.

-Morbidly obese- I'm fat. I'm referring to the people who get to the point where they need to have a motorized vehicle haul their fat ass through the grocery store. Once you get to be 100 lbs overweight, you need to portion your fast food and cheeto consumption.

-Ultra Politicos- Drippy Libs and Neo-cons...fuck off. The vast majority of us are indeed sane and swing towards the middle.

-Emo kid- You never got pussy. That's why your songs sound like they do...whiney and alone.

-College Professor-How can that be???? All that education??? Academia is not the real world. Academia is books and cocktails combined with 4 hour work days for 33 grand a year.

-Corporate douche- Yep...can recite every cliche mandate using the hamburger technique.

-Blue bloods- Born rich, will live without ever having wants or needs, never needing to work, yet will always be unhappy. Stop your sniveling, ok...fuckin gatsby loons.

-No common sense- I got a perfect score on the SAT, but I can't navigate social situations or pick my favorite color.

-The chronic know nothings

-The incredibly uncouth-There's no excuse for this one. I don't care how poorly you were raised. A complete lack of manners. No respect for anyone but yourself. Me, more, now. You, not, ever attitudes. Ravenous disregard for humanity. Never wrong. This person is our number one enemy.




So that was my first, all encompassing mission statement. We will begin exposing immediately!