Commercials that Undergo slight editing after they Originally air

God, I can never understand this. Think Prilosec OTC commercial, ya know, the anti heartburn medication featuring the little flame running around the floor of a danceclub looking to ruin your nite b/c you’r ea fucking alcoholic and you’re going to attack a football sized mozzarella stick from the nearest greasy spoon. During this horrible commercial, they zoom in to a middle aged lady…I mean, she’s old as fuck to be dancing in a club! And she can’t dance…and then she’s talkin about heartburn, “won’t be comin back.” As she utters this line, she brutally and ungracefully does a dance move where her right arm goes over her head. The premise for the commercial was fine! It was an average commercial, but the fact that the company is too stubborn to edit this horrendous dance move out of the commercial causes me to take equate brand antacid tablets instead of Prilosec OTC.



If you don’t know what I’m talking about…these slight little edits… try this exercise. Ok, next time you see a commercial that has a handful of heinous elements (Like, I dunno…summer of ’07, I saw a Domino’s commercial that has a 6 second freeze shot of a little girl with a giant mustache, fawning over the pizza), wait…note the (hideously distracting) flaw, then wait for the commercial again.. After a some time, it will re-emerge and the commercial may be changed to edit out its horrid element. For instance, that pizza commercial…I saw it a couple weeks after, the little girl with the stachey’s airtime was slashed to a quick shot where only with more careful analysis on slo-mo from my DVR, was the mustache detectable!

I can’t think of too many examples right now of commercials being re-edited only slightly to eliminate one slight, but glaring flaw. I think it’s a smart move by a company. I mean, shit, you pay good money for ad slots and you pay a company a shitload of money to make and produce a good ass commercial. If they fuck it up, it’s bad for you…severely counterproductive! I don’t want mustache girl to be the topic of my pizza! I mean, this mustache girl appeared two summers ago. Her time as the star was so brief, that none of you probably know what I’m talking about!!!!!!!!! I feel like I’m trying to convince you all that I had a sighting of a Bigfoot. Do I have any evidence, no. But she did exist. She was hideous and should not have been selling pizza, but Mach 3s.

How do these commercials make the cut with a glaring flaw? Maybe production/release deadline pressure? Still, it’s not excusable. Any outside party who views it can easily see that an adorable, mustached, little 11 year old girl is not good for pizza. Reconsider the chain of misfortunate events that would have allowed Miss Tween mustache to make it into my front room. First, she has to have asshole parents that force their little child into acting, even though she has a huge mustache! Nair that bitch off for her if you’re going to live through your children like that. Fuck. To slip through the cracks…someone had to cast that little fur lip. Then, the director of the mustache pizza commercial had to really be off his game that day and go, “holy shit, this little girl’s mustache would be great to zoom in on with the pizza in the immediate foreground.” I mean, don’t they teach that in film school…no mustached little girls. Just say no to the mustached little girl close up. Fuck. So, back to the chain of events…so she’s made it this far and somehow is now the feature shot in the commercial, it now falls into the lap of the editing team. Fuck, we need those 6 seconds. Her mustache is so cute! It really contrasts well with the toppings. It’s the same color as the pepperoni! After editing (or lack of) it is most likely released to empty suits…and not one person raises their hand. Maybe Mustachia is the granddaughter of the CEO. Maybe the empty suits didn’t care in the commercial and didn’t even notice the grand mustache that some of my friends couldn’t even grow.

All I know is that the commercial that was originally aired and the one that aired the following weekend were completely different. Somehow, the feedback that wasn’t there for the first relief got back to the company and Stacey Stache got her airtime clipped!