Dumping Treasures

I am on vacation in Shitfuck, Indiana for final wedding plans. I am currently in my Fiancee's room, watching her do some "cleaning up" of her old room as directed by her mother. I would assume Mother of the Spawn would like to make something of this room one day and transform it from it's childish, plush Pig infested room.

Ok, so the situation is ridiculous. My fiancee sits on the floor and is attacking her dresser.

She is finding hideous things. I mean, for what she is throwing out, she needs a much larger trash can. Her trash can is miniature, like it's closer to the size of a juice cup than a trash can. Dust is flying everywhere.

Ok, treasures that have been uncovered so far and placed in the oversized juice cup/trash can:

-Hundreds of articles of costume jewelry
-Panty hose out the ass
-Two fucking retainers (who was this much of a loser that they had a top and lower)
-60 sticks of chapstick
-Her dead grandmother's glasses (yes, creepy)
-Marching band and track paraphernalia
-I count 45 stuffed pigs (there maybe more...these are just what I can see)
-Countless bras, a million different sizes
-Chopin and music reward stickers
-A colored picture of a dragon
-A fish
-A snow globe thingy with a sea horse in it that looks like a sex device
-Ooo, looky box stickers
-College lists
-Barrettes
-Pink Confetti
-Piglet was just rejected
-Broken "I climbed Stone Mountain" key chain
-Polly Pocket
-Weird coins (an avos from Macau, Canadian pennies, a Venezuelan Nickle, a Chilean, etc I'm bored)
-Two pairs of granny panties w/ their tags on (from Kohl's $6.50 a piece) She says that this was probably the last time her mother had permission to buy her underwear.

She's bitching right now at me..."What are you doing?" "Are you blogging" "Something about your face means I'm not gonna like it" "If you don't tell me, I'm writing a blog about your family"

"My room, my room is a relic...look...look at this (it's a hand made sculpture of a pig)...I made this...when I was in 2nd grade...that was 14 years ago...non of my piano students were even alive!!!!"

The madness continues. I just want to climb inside her booksmart/ common sense lacking head to hear the clash of her inner voice as she makes decisions over what to keep and what to throw out.

By now, the diminutive trash can is overflowing with relics. This is a beyond hideous display, as although she doesn't want to have any of her relics exposed, she cannot bear to clean her room alone.

She has now become amused that I have taken an interest in her relics. She is now presenting items to me...it's a really bad show and tell.

Well, this is becoming unbearable...people, clean up your old rooms when you move out!

I suppose that after she finds I have posted this, a blog about my family will be coming out shortly.