Showing posts with label Delaware Dive Bar Incident. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Delaware Dive Bar Incident. Show all posts

Wednesday, February 25, 2009

Occupied






Ok, very random, but this goes well before the idea for me to blog. It was brought to my attention by one of my readers and good friends. It is an important development, especially in concerns with what we stand for here, Mragh.

Well, let's just say the pangs were upon me on summer day in Chillicothe, OH. There was clearly going to be a rendez-vous with a toilet stall. I stopped at the local Kmart and I had a feeling things were heading into the incredibly unquestionable realms when, moving at a quick pace due to my situation, almost ran into the front doors of the store. Apparently, automatic doors do not exist at KMart in Chillicothe. It's good information to know!

So, I arrive at the humble bumble area...it took me forever to find as the signage at KMart was also limited. There was a small eatery located on the far side of the store, so I ventured in that direction.

At last, I had found the restroom. I entered, turned around to lock the stall and beheld a grim unpleasantry. The stall lock was damaged and would not remain locked! I wouldn't have cared, but this was one of those mega sized stalls and the door was out of reach when one was occupying le crapiere. If someone decided to come bursting through, I'd be in a similar situation to the Delaware Incident a few months before (still quite fresh in my mind!).

I had no choice. I had to think. No way would I risk being interrupted in my sanctum while engaged in my deuceage.

I reached for my pen and a few plies of tp. My mind wandered to the little lit "occupied" signs on airplanes.

What you see was my version. Of necessity and of genius. Was it necessary?

About 4 minutes into my ordeal, I heard the restroom entrance door open. I heard someone approach the stall, pause, and leave the restroom.

Yes, this was a ridiculous action by me and perhaps, viewed socially unacceptable to some. But there are times where one must fancy to extremes and tip toe the tight rope of couth. I went against the rules of society and with much success.

Tuesday, February 10, 2009

The Restroom

A wiseman once said, "I love white trash from central Ohio."

They don't have to be from central Ohio...my tattoo artist says, "no matter where you go, you will still find hillbillies." He's right...it's inescapable.

But there are basic common courtesies that every human being must harbor somewhere in them? Everyone is entitled to certain inalienable rights that should never be violated under any circumstance.

Scenario:

Circleville, OH. According to wikipedia, which for the most part is infallible, the town was designed in with a circular base plan rather than the traditional Roman city block. In city planning, you have Ancient Rome and Circleville.

To protect my identity, I will never disclose why I'm in such places, but let's just say I'm on business and my business involves travel to such places.

In my line of work, it is necessary to make bathroom stops along the way. I stopped at a local grocery store because I couldn't find a fast food joint for the life of me, and my time was running short...the coloner pangs were present.

After preparing a nest of toiletpaper for myself upon the filthy seat, I begin doing my business. Yes, it is a triumphant epic. I was crushing. I dabble in brickbreaker while I do my business. I'm no pro player, but I dabble and I enjoy a good game. Well, sure enough, as luck would have it, I near an all-time personal record! So, let's just say I take my time in the stall. I creep closer and closer to my goal. I hear the bathroom door squeak open, followed by labored shuffling.

My stall is under seige